From Falling Back to Springing Forward
[In image: “Tick Tock Theater” with photo from the “Particular” montage. Rachel Phillips’ Ghost Light Theaters.]
When I was in the midst of my dissertation research, attempting to articulate a theory of fallback, it was autumn in the United States. At the time, developmental researcher, author, practitioner extraordinaire, and one of my research key thinkers, Jennifer Garvey Berger, lived in New Zealand where they were just emerging from winter. There was a period of that research season, as we wrangled our calendars trying to find a date and time for our next interview, that Jennifer and I were actively in the discussion of the precise days that I would fall back and she would spring forward. And for those of you who may doubt that these occurrences of falling back and springing forward are predictable but who may also have your interest piqued in how they could be possible, let me clarify…
From Fallback to Spring Forward: Bringing our better selves in times of complexity
Do you remember in those old 80’s horror, adventure, sci-fi flicks when the walls start closing in around the protagonist? Think Indiana Jones…or Star Wars. Doorways close, a boulder rolls in to block the entrance to the cave, windows disappear behind the shifting walls. All the while, the protagonist is desperate for a way to escape the impending doom and is forced to become smaller and smaller in an effort to avoid being crushed by the shrinking space he is in. Well, this doesn’t just happen in movies. This shrinking is also what happens in our psychological self when we experience fallback.
Grown-Ass Woman Meltdown #1
So far, the musings on this website have been largely absent the fallback episodes that pepper my days. Lest you think it’s because I’m sailing through my newfound roles and newfound co-habitating-while-co-working waters at a graceful and efficient clip, allow me to disabuse you of that notion. Let me assure you that there have been many “I need a moment” proclamations followed by intentional deep breathing to allow me to recover and return to my day without losing my shit – inwardly and outwardly. In fact, it’s probably because my fallback occurs many times a day in many micro forms, that I haven’t tended to write about them. After all, I am in the midst of learning-while-doing my new full-time job homeschooling a kindergartener and a fourth grader. It’s hard to find the time to document all the small episodes during which I don’t show up my Big Self. Both, because the time is scarce and the fallbacks are plenty.